Wednesday, Feb08 / Oldest Twins, Giant Proposal, Leap of Faith, Missing Man

Good morning to you, today is Wednesday, February 08, 2012, and I am your humble host, the sultan of satire, the purveyor of non-pertinent information and as always the troublemaker extraordinaire and I am coming to you recorded from the Eagle’s nest here at wake up central with news you can’t use here on the Wednesday edition of The Morning Wake Up Call.

Financial

Dow Jones              12,878.20      +33.07            (0.26%)

S&P 500        1,347.05         +2.72              (0.20%)

Nasdaq                    2,904.08         +2.09              (0.07%)

Election

Colorado – Santorum, Romney, Gingrich, Paul

Missouri – Santorum, Romney, Paul

Minnesota – Santorum, Paul, Romney, Gingrich

World’s Oldest Twins

Edith Ritchie and Evelyn Middleton turned 102 on November 15, but they had to wait until this week for the real present.

Guinness World Records has named the centenarian sisters, who hail from Aberdeenshire, Scotland, the world's oldest twins.

“Edith and Evelyn are a remarkable pair," said Guinness World Records Editor-in-Chief Craig Glenday in a press release.

"When they were born, the likes of Mark Twain and Florence Nightingale were still alive, and we had yet to conquer the South Pole. They’re not just the oldest in the UK, they hold the world title. They’ve clearly benefitted from good genes, and a solid life-long friendship that only twins can truly understand.”

The sisters just edged out the previous record holders Ena Pugh and Lily Millward, who are still alive and kicking, just six weeks younger.

Although there are claims of 107-year-old twins living in the Ukraine, the Scottish sisters' claim remains the only record verified by Guinness officials, reported the Metro.co.uk.

The twins are not identical, but their mother always dressed them exactly the same, with bows in their matching long brown plaits, according to the Daily Mail.

After leaving school, the sisters worked on farms before leaving to start their own families.

Evelyn married William Middleton and had four children, 12 grandchildren, 26 great-grandchildren and three great-great grandchildren.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/07/worlds-oldest-twins-are-102-years-old_n_1260992.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Giant Proposal

After winning his first Super Bowl on Sunday night, New York Giants' rookie linebacker Greg Jones surprised his girlfriend, Mandy Piechowski, with an on-field proposal.

After Piechowski ran to congratulate her boyfriend on his big win, Jones pulled out a round-cut diamond engagement ring, got down on one knee and popped the question. In tears, Piechowski said yes.

The couple have been dating for a year and a half. They met at Michigan State University three years ago where Jones played football and Piechowski played basketball.

Breaking the Sound Barrier

It is the ultimate in parachute jumps: from the edge of space, Felix Baumgartner will leap from a balloon, plummeting to the ground 120,000 feet below.  After 35 seconds he will break the sound barrier, and finally, at 5,000 feet he will deploy a parachute and – hopefully – land safely on the ground.  During his 10-minute journey to earth the Austrian will travel at more than 690 miles per hour inside a special suit, which must protect him from temperatures as low as -94 degrees F.  He will rely on its oxygen tanks as the air is too thin to breathe – and hope that the sheer force of the fall does not make him blackout. The team working with the Austrian will this week announce that an attempt to make the record breaking jump will take place in August above New Mexico.  Mr Baumgartner, who in 2003 became the first person to "skydive" across the English Channel, will undertake two test jumps at 60,000 feet and 90,000 feet over the coming months to make sure the specialised equipment he is using will help him survive.

Gone But Not Missing

A Wisconsin man who was thought to have moved away in 2007 reportedly killed himself, leaving his "nearly skeletonized body" to rot in his home for more than four years.

The discovery of David Carter's remains occurred last month after his West Allis foreclosed home was handed over to the city due to unpaid property taxes, the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reports.

Carter's "nearly skeletonized body" was found on the home's second floor and a handgun was found lying on his chest, according to the medical examiner's report which concluded he died from a gunshot wound to the head.

Carter, 41, likely died in late 2007 after quitting his job and telling friends he was moving to New Mexico, according to the newspaper.

http://www.foxnews.com/us/2012/02/07/wisconsin-mans-nearly-skeletonized-body-found-in-home-4-years-after-suicide/#ixzz1lmS4QTkc

Quote of the Day

Nothing is more contagious than an opinion – James Madison

Useless Facts

Human birth control pills work on gorillas.

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

The views and opinions expressed on this show are those of the host, guest, and fans and not necessarily those of any organization represented by these individuals.

Wake up call is a production of Eagle communications and may be replayed at any time for your viewing pleasure.  The contents of this show are meant to be only entertaining and possibly sarcastic, should you have any issues regarding this show you are encouraged to forward any and all comments to my facebook account

Watch Wake Up Call Video

Tuesday, Feb07 / Record Your Arrest, Claw Machine, Bank Robber

Good morning to you, today is Tuesday, February 7, and I am your humble host, the sultan of satire, the purveyor of non-pertinent information and as always the troublemaker extraordinaire and I am coming to you recorded from the Eagle’s nest here at wake up central with news you can’t use here on the Tuesday edition of The Morning Wake Up Call.

Financial

Dow Jones	12,845.13	-17.10	(-0.13%)
S&P 500	1,344.33	-0.57	(-0.04%)
Nasdaq	2,901.99	-3.67	(-0.13%)

Election

Today is primary day for Colorado, Minnesota, and Missouri.  Check in tomorrow for the results.

Recording Your Arrest

SPRINGFIELD, Ill. — Tiawanda Moore didn't think she was doing anything wrong. When two Chicago police officers tried to stop her from filing a sexual harassment complaint against one of their colleagues in 2010, she wanted to record her conversation with them on her smartphone.

Moore was promptly arrested and charged for violating a strict Illinois eavesdropping law that bars audio recordings unless all involved parties agree to it. Moore, then 20, spent more than two weeks in jail and faced up to 15 years in prison.

In Illinois, documenting life in the era of smartphones and YouTube can result in felony charges. The little-known law could draw more attention come May, when thousands of protesters and journalists descend on Chicago for the NATO and G8 summits and someone unknowingly may try to record a clash with police.

Some state legislators say it's time to rewrite the law, which faces state and federal challenges. Illinois Attorney General Lisa Madigan has asked the state Supreme Court to address whether it is constitutional.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/06/illinois-eavesdropping-la_0_n_1258285.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Claw Machine

Three-year-old Noah Jeffrey really wanted a toy, and he wasted no time trying to get it.

The Australian boy climbed inside a vending machine in a restaurant play area Sunday and sat amid the candies and Spongebob toys, handing out items to a group of onlookers, the Herald Sun reports.

Noah was in the machine for about 10 minutes before his mother coaxed him out with the promise of another toy.

While the boy thought the incident was all fun and games, hot temperatures and a lack of oxygen could've put the tot in danger. A writer for Hypervocal jokingly stated he was "surprised no one tried to grab him with the claw."

The vending machine company said they would install a bar to prevent similar accidents in the future, according to the Herald Sun.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/06/noah-jeffrey-toddler-crawl-toy-machine_n_1257438.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Bank Robber Gone Wild

Sure, this alleged bank robber puts his pants on one leg at a time just like the rest of us -- but then he wears shorts on his head.

The Monroe County Sheriff's Office in Florida says43-year-old Eli Escalera tried to rob a bank in Stock Island, Fla., with a pair of shorts on his noggin.

According to a Sheriff's department press release, Escalera gave the bank teller a note that said "give me what are 20s and 50s."

"What do you want?" the teller then asked, perhaps confused by the phrasing of Escalera's note, if not the shorts on his head.

Escalera then said "never mind" and walked out of the bank, according to the Sheriff's department.

Puzzlingly, the release says police were told to look for "a Hispanic male wearing a blue shirt, dark colored cargo pants, with scars on his face." But, we have to wonder, why not also look for a man wearing pants on his head?

Nevertheless, the description was enough to lead police to Escalera, who was seen taking off a pair of dark-colored pants, according to the release. Escalera was then arrested and charged with robbery.

But the Miami New Times points out that there's still one nagging loose end that begs to be tied up.

"Left unanswered, though, is the key question of why Escalera wore shorts in lieu of a baseball cap,"the New Times wrote. "Did he think the shorts covered his face?"

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/06/eli-escalera-bank-robber-shorts-on-head_n_1257312.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Quote of the Day

A proper history of the United States would have much to recommend it: in some respects it would be … unlike all others; it would develop the great plan of Providence, for causing this extensive part of our world to be discovered, and these “uttermost parts of the earth” to be gradually filled with civilized and Christian people and nations.… The historian, in the course of the work, is never to lose sight of that great plan. – John Jay

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

The views and opinions expressed on this show are those of the host, guest, and fans and not necessarily those of any organization represented by these individuals.

Wake up call is a production of Eagle communications and may be replayed at any time for your viewing pleasure.  The contents of this show are meant to be only entertaining and possibly sarcastic, should you have any issues regarding this show you are encouraged to forward any and all comments to my facebook account.

Watch Wake Up Call Video

Monday, Feb06 / Frat Party, Twins Reunited

Good morning to you, today is Monday, February 6, and I am your humble host, the sultan of satire, the purveyor of non-pertinent information and as always the troublemaker extraordinaire and I am coming to you recorded from the Eagle’s nest here at wake up central with news you can’t use here on the OMI Monday edition of The Morning Wake Up Call.

Sports

New York Giants take home the Super Bowl trophy last night defeating the New England Patriots by a score of 21-17.

Madonna preformed in the half-time show however there were no wardrobe malfunctions this year. 

Politics

Romney took home another victory in the Nevada Caucus collecting 50% of the votes, Gingrich, Paul and Santorum finished 2^nd, 3^rd and 4^th respectively.

Frat party. Beer. Firecracker. Rectum. Exploded. Lawsuit.

Those are the keywords you’ll be taking away from this article.

In 2011, at a party being held by the Alpha Tao Omega fraternity at West Virginia’s Marshall University, a fine young gentleman by the name of Travis Hughes (a member of said fraternity) came up with perhaps the greatest idea in the history of great ideas:

Let’s see if I can launch this bottle rocket from my anus!

So the intrepid young Travis stuck the firecracker stem up his butt and lit the fuse. Then his butt exploded.

Now, poor Travis and his fraternity are being sued by a guy named Louis Helmburg III. He was at the party and in the vicinity of Mr. Hughes when his butt blew up. As the lawsuit states, "Instead of launching, the bottle rocket blew up in the defendant's rectum, and this startled the plaintiff and caused him to jump back” and fall off a second story balcony.

Louis Helmberg says he suffered pain and incurred sizable medical expenses as a result of injuries sustained in the fall, and he believes the fraternity was negligent in supervising its guests and members.

But really, what could the fraternity possibly have done to prevent this? Should they have had a strict “no shooting firecrackers out your anus” policy? Because I think you just assume people won’t be doing stuff like that.

And even if they had a “no shooting firecrackers out your anus” policy, it’s my experience that once a dude really gets it in his head to break this type of rule, you’re just better off getting the hell out of the way.

Sadly, the lawsuit makes no mention of what ever happened to the guy with the blown up rectum. Hopefully he’s okay.

http://socialhype.com/news/frat-guy-blows-up-his-rectum-with-firecracker-now-being-sued/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=frat-guy-blows-up-his-rectum-with-firecracker-now-being-sued

Twins Reunited

This story sounds like a movie script, but it's not.Two Indonesian sisters -- twins -- separated at birth, found each nearly 30 years later, only to discover that they lived no more than 25 miles apart in South Sweden, the AFP reports.Emilie Falk and Lin Backman were both adopted in Indonesia by Swedish parents. However, neither set of parents was told about the other twin. Then, when they were leaving the orphanage, a taxi driver asked Backman's parents in passing about "the other one, the sister."Many years later, Falk decided to look for her sister. Using a network for Indonesian children adopted by Swedish parents and Facebook, Falk tracked Backman down, FamilyGP.com reports.DNA tests revealed that there is a 99.98 percent chance that the two are sisters.After getting the test results, Falk says she "suddenly started thinking that we shared a womb." "It was really strange, but really cool too," she told AFP.The girls are both teachers, got married on the same day only a year apart and danced to the same song at their weddings.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/03/indonesian-twins-lin-back_n_1252877.html?ncid=edlinkusaolp00000003

Quote of the Day

It is to be regretted that the rich and powerful too often bend the acts of government to their selfish purposes. Distinctions in society will always exist under every just government. – Andrew Jackson

Useless Facts

Cranberries are sorted for ripeness by bouncing them; a fully ripened cranberry can be dribbled like a basketball.

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

The views and opinions expressed on this show are those of the host, guest, and fans and not necessarily those of any organization represented by these individuals.

Wake up call is a production of Eagle communications and may be replayed at any time for your viewing pleasure.  The contents of this show are meant to be only entertaining and possibly sarcastic, should you have any issues regarding this show you are encouraged to forward any and all comments to my facebook account.

Watch Wake Up Call Video

Thursday, Feb02 / Welfare, Debit Cards, Donations

Good morning to you, today is Thursday, February 02, 2012, and I am your humble host, the sultan of satire, the purveyor of non-pertinent information and as always the troublemaker extraordinaire and I am coming to you recorded from the Eagle’s nest here at wake up central with news you can’t use here on the Thursday, Groundhog edition of The Morning Wake Up Call.

Financial

Dow Jones  12,716.46 +83.55 (0.66%)

S&P 500  1,324.09 +11.68 (0.89%)

Nasdaq  2,848.27 +34.43 (1.22%)

Election News

Prostitutes at a Carson City, Nevda brothel are donating their tips to Ron Paul!

Weather

The ground hog has seen his shadow meaning that we have 6 more weeks of winter.

Gambling on Welfare

The House passed legislation Wednesday that would prevent welfare recipients from spending money on adult entertainment, alcohol or gambling.

The bill's sponser, Rep. Charles Boustany, (R-LA), said that the measure was in response to reports that people had used welfare funds inappropriately. 

The Welfare Integrity Now for Children and Families Act of 2011 is part of a package of measures that Republicans want to include in an upcoming agreement to extend the payroll tax cut over the next year. 

Democrats supported the measure but criticized Republicans for not focusing on larger national problems, such as job creation. 

The vote was 395 to 26.

http://www.foxnews.com/politics/2012/02/01/house-passes-bill-to-ban-use-welfare-funds-for-strip-clubs-casinos-and-alcohol/#ixzz1lCnXEJCR

Prepaid Debit Card or Not

Anisha Sekar of Nerdwallet has officially launched a comparison tool which allows you to work out which prepaid debit card might be best for you — and, crucially, allows you to compare the cost of a prepaid debit card to the cost of a bank account. Nerdwallet has run the numbers about as many ways as is humanly possible, and has come to the empirical conclusion that it “is very rarely the case” that prepaid debit is cheaper than checking.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/02/01/why-most-prepaid-debit-ca_n_1247025.html

Donation to Charity

DISCOVERY BAY — When Fat Smitty’s restaurant closed for the season last week, Boy Scouts and other volunteers jumped into the annual cleanup by first stripping the walls of more than 10,000 $1 bills.

Since 1985, customers have been writing messages on the paper money and tacking them onto the walls and ceiling of the landmark restaurant on Highway 101, home to giant wood carvings and the award-winning Fat Smitty’s burger — a 5-inch-thick concoction with two thick patties, bacon and all the trimmings.

Before the dollar bills were plucked off the walls Saturday, nearly every inch of wooden paneling in two rooms was covered with cash. In a few areas, the bills were two, three or four layers thick. Of the $10,316 collected, all but $3,000 will go to build a new dining hall at nearby Camp Parsons Boy Scout Camp near Brinnon. The other $3,000 will go to St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital, based in Memphis, Tenn.

“I’ve never taken any dollars down,” said Carl “Fatty Smitty” Schmidt, who has owned the restaurant since 1983. “This money never belonged to me.”

The first bill went up in 1985, when two men selling Caterpillar equipment came into the restaurant to eat at the bar, Schmidt said. One of them asked whether he could stick a dollar bill on the ceiling with his business card. That launched a tradition that has grown through the years.

On Saturday, Schmidt was not able to locate that first bill among the many yellowing dollars hanging from the ceiling. Schmidt and his nephew, Casey Carson, who now manages the place, agreed to leave all the bills on the ceiling to maintain some of the history. That cash could easily exceed another $1,000.

“It is hard to take all this down,” Carson said, looking at the currency, business cards, photos and other items that have become part of the restaurant’s walls. “It makes it easier to know that the money is going to charity, and hopefully people will put it back up again.”

http://good-report.com/702/restaurant-donates-over-10000-dollar-bills-collected-on-its-walls?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=restaurant-donates-over-10000-dollar-bills-collected-on-its-walls

Quote of the Day

@BrandonSideBetBrandon Sheets

I don't mind being asked to do something for some one else but don't tell me like I'm your child! I'll laugh in your face!!

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

The views and opinions expressed on this show are those of the host, guest, and fans and not necessarily those of any organization represented by these individuals.

Wake up call is a production of Eagle communications and may be replayed at any time for your viewing pleasure.  The contents of this show are meant to be only entertaining and possibly sarcastic, should you have any issues regarding this show you are encouraged to forward any and all comments to my facebook account.

Watch the Wake Up Call Video

Wednesday, Feb01 / Super Bowl Snacks, Royal Dog, Jay Leno, Baby Story

Good morning to you, today is Wednesday, February 01, 2012, and I am your humble host, the sultan of satire, the purveyor of non-pertinent information and as always the troublemaker extraordinaire and I am coming to you recorded from the Eagle’s nest here at wake up central with news you can’t use here on the Wednesday edition of The Morning Wake Up Call.

Financial

Dow Jones	12,632.91	-20.81	(-0.16%)
S&P 500	1,312.41	-0.60	(-0.05%)
Nasdaq	2,813.84	+1.90	(0.07%)

Politics

Romney picks up the 50 delegates from Florida, taking an easy win away from the rest of the pack.

Super Snack

There will be some super snacking going on during the Super Bowl, and many will forego those diets and start eating like linebackers.  

According to the Calorie Control Council, the average armchair quarterback will consume 1,200 calories and 50 grams of fat, just from snacking – that’s not even counting actual meals.  

So what exactly are people eating? We break it down by the numbers:  

The National Chicken Council reports that more than 1.25 billion chicken wings will be consumed during Super Bowl weekend. That’s more than 100 million pounds of wings. If they were laid end-to-end, they would circle the circumference of the Earth more than twice over.  

Wingstop, a Texas-based restaurant with 500 locations, expects to sauce and toss 5.6 million wings on Super Bowl Sunday alone, an increase of 12 percent over last year. The company says Super Bowl sales are usually 290 percent more than on any given Sunday.  

Pizza also scores points as one of the most popular Super Bowl food choices. Papa John’s Pizza says it hopes to sell more than one million pizzas on Sunday. That adds up to about 8 million slices on game day.  

But the king of Super Bowl snacks, according to The Nielsen Company, is potato chips. Nearly 46 million pounds of chips are sold in the run up to the game.  Add in other snack foods, like tortilla chips, pretzels and popcorn, and we’re talking about nearly 177 million pounds of snacks sold on Super Sunday.  

http://www.foxnews.com/leisure/2012/01/31/super-snacking-on-super-bowl/?intcmp=features#ixzz1l73dsYkC

The Royal Puppy

It’s official: Prince William and Kate Middleton have a new puppy, palace officials confirmed to NBC Tuesday. The young royals bucked Windsor family tradition by opting for cocker spaniel rather than a corgi. However, despite a recent overhaul in monarchical succession rules (in the future, elder daughters will precede their brothers), scholars say the dog is not currently in line for the throne.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/reliable-source/post/in-other-news-wills-and-kates-new-puppy-cant-inherit-the-throne/2012/01/31/gIQAjly3fQ_blog.html?wprss=rss_linkset&tid=sm_twitter_washingtonpost

Eat Your Veggies Jay

First lady Michelle Obama wants TV host Jay Leno to give vegetables another try as part of her Let's Move campaign to fight obesity and promote healthy eating.

"@JayLeno says he never eats vegetables…we'll see about that! #LetsMove to get Jay to eat some veggies on #TheTonightShow on 1/31!" the first lady wrote on the Let's Move twitter account Sunday.

The late night host has been vocal about his dislike for healthy eating and his love of junk food.

"I don't think I've had a vegetable since 1969," Leno said in a 2006 interview. "I'm a meat, chicken, potatoes, pasta kind of guy. I eat a lot of junk food like pizza hamburgers and hot dogs. When I have a soda, I have a soda — not a diet soda. I don't think I've ever had a salad, actually."

The first lady is set to be a guest on the Tonight Show on Tuesday, her first appearance as first lady — though she did appear on the show during the 2008 campaign.

http://www.politico.com/politico44/2012/01/michelle-obama-pressures-jay-leno-to-eat-his-veggies-112756.html

Amazing Recovery – goodnews.com

A British baby was miraculously saved after being born with no blood in his body.

A rare condition drained Oliver Morgan’s small frame of almost every drop while he was in the womb.

When he was delivered he looked pale and stillborn — and doctors were unable to find a heartbeat for an astonishing 25 minutes.

But battling Oliver survived against all odds after being given oxygen, gentle heart massage and a lifesaving blood transfusion. Medics fought back tears when his heart monitor let out the first telltale beep.
Oliver is now a happy, healthy 15-month-old toddler.

His mom, 36-year-old Katy Morgan from Maidstone, southern England, said Thursday, “Oliver’s birth was so traumatic that I haven’t been able to bring myself to tell his story till now. He was born dead with no blood in his body — but now he’s sitting here smiling at me.”

“The doctors literally brought him back to life and I will never be able to thank them enough for this wonderful gift,” she added.

Oliver almost bled to death after a rare condition called vasa previa formed an extra vein in his mom’s womb. It burst — and she woke up covered in blood 37.5 weeks into her pregnancy.

She was rushed to the Maidstone General Hospital and was shocked to discover it had all come from her baby.

Oliver was born by emergency C-section weighing six pounds and one ounce (2.8 kilograms) at 5.12am local time. After attempts to resuscitate him, he was given a blood transfusion pumped into the still-attached umbilical cord.

At 5.37am local time the first heartbeat was detected and grew stronger as he was given more blood.

Katy Morgan — who was anesthetized and unaware of the drama — said, “Doctors said it was one of the most amazing recoveries they’d ever seen. Oliver had no blood, no heartbeat and looked stillborn — but somehow they got him back.”

Oliver was taken to a special care baby unit where doctors decided to lower his body temperature to save his brain from damage. He was placed inside a tiny coat which chilled him to 91 degrees Fahrenheit (33 degrees Celsius) to make blood flow away from his skin and to his brain and heart so they would heal more efficiently.

After three nail-biting days, consultants slowly began raising his temperature to the normal 99 degrees Fahrenheit (37 degrees Celsius). And after just 11 days Oliver was well enough to be taken home to start family life.

“It’s hard to believe, looking back at what he’s been through — but Ollie’s now a bright, happy boy with his whole life ahead of him,” his mom said.

http://good-report.com/673/doctors-save-baby-born-with-no-blood?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=doctors-save-baby-born-with-no-blood

Quote of the Day

"I don't think I've had a vegetable since 1969” – Jay Leno

Useless Facts

Jay Leno has not had a vegetable since 1969

Legal Mumbo Jumbo

The views and opinions expressed on this show are those of the host, guest, and fans and not necessarily those of any organization represented by these individuals.

Wake up call is a production of Eagle communications and may be replayed at any time for your viewing pleasure.  The contents of this show are meant to be only entertaining and possibly sarcastic, should you have any issues regarding this show you are encouraged to forward any and all comments to my facebook account.

Watch Wake Up Call Video

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